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上帝知道人們喜愛奇跡卻苦于不知道如何去創(chuàng)造奇跡的煩惱后,便打造了一扇"奇跡"之門,人們只要通過這扇門,愿望就能實(shí)現(xiàn)。聞?dòng)嵑?,人們蜂擁而至,一個(gè)個(gè)都欣喜若狂。
然而意想不到的事情發(fā)生了,上帝不小心遺失了開啟大門的鑰匙。人們開始焦慮起來。上帝望著焦急的人群,飽含深意地說:"你們每個(gè)人都可以去開啟這扇門,但機(jī)會(huì)只有一次。"于是,有人用萬能鑰匙去試,用花言巧語去游說,用蠻力去推,甚至還有人用東西去砸,皆不得要領(lǐng),失望而歸。最后只剩下一對母女,一家公司的員工和一位元首。
上帝仔細(xì)端詳著他們,問道:"你們難道還不想放棄?"小女孩天真地笑了笑,指了指那扇門,說:"爺爺,我們還沒試過呢!"上帝捻了捻他那長長的白須,仰身大笑:"那你們就去試試吧!"小女孩便走上前,輕輕地敲了敲,依依呀呀地說:"我想送給媽媽一條暖和的圍巾,因?yàn)閶寢尩哪菄硪呀?jīng)不暖和了,冬天騎車送我上學(xué)的時(shí)候,淘氣的雪花直往媽媽的脖子里鉆,很冷的。"站在一旁的媽媽早已熱淚盈眶,她不知道女兒的心愿竟是為了這個(gè)。"吱呀"一聲,奇跡之門開了!
輪到員工們的時(shí)候,他們的代表懷著沉痛的心情向門陳述著他們的心事:公司快要破產(chǎn)了,但我們不想離開她,那兒是我們?yōu)⑾潞顾牡胤剑覀儼炎约旱那啻韩I(xiàn)給了她,她也給了我們家的溫暖。這個(gè)時(shí)候,我們怎能棄她而去呢?好比是坐上了一條破爛不堪的船,如果船上的人只顧逃跑,它一定會(huì)被無情的海水吞噬的。門開了!又一次開了!
最后只剩下那個(gè)國家元首,他虔誠地對著那扇門說,請您賜福于我的鄰國吧,上帝忙問:"什么,鄰國?難道你不是為了自己的國家而來的嗎?""不,我的國家現(xiàn)在很太平,這份難得的太平歸功于我的鄰國,他們在我們最困難的時(shí)候,給予我很大的幫助,可他們現(xiàn)在面臨的困難,單憑我國的力量還不足以幫助克服……"門第三次開了!
當(dāng)他們穿越那扇門時(shí),小女孩找到了一條適合母親的圍巾,員工們找到了發(fā)展工廠的秘訣,元首幫助鄰國走出了困境。
上帝在他的日記中寫道:"奇跡"之門只為心中有愛的人而開!哪里有感恩之心傳遞,哪里就會(huì)有愛的奇跡!其實(shí),這句話是上帝對整個(gè)世界的承諾,小到個(gè)人,大到國家,乃至整個(gè)世界。
【簡評】是巧妙的懸念,讓這篇神話走上了滿分的舞臺。當(dāng)欣喜若狂的人們都無法打開"奇跡之門"時(shí),
3. 根據(jù)所標(biāo)序號進(jìn)行修改并說明修改的理由; 4. 給學(xué)生習(xí)作點(diǎn)評;
5. 請點(diǎn)評名師提供簡歷一份,包括:學(xué)校、職務(wù)、 職稱、榮譽(yù)、教研教學(xué)成果、照片一張。
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來稿請寄: 430079 華中師范大學(xué)外國語學(xué)院《中學(xué)生英語》 雜志社 收
本期點(diǎn)評名師
姜經(jīng)志 男,中學(xué)英語高級教師,省級骨干教師,淮北市優(yōu)秀教師,中國外語學(xué)習(xí)研究會(huì)會(huì)員,《學(xué)英語》、《英語周報(bào)》特約編輯、《中學(xué)生英語》兼職編委。多年來,在省級以上報(bào)刊發(fā)表文章800余篇,并有多篇論文獲獎(jiǎng)。曾主編《初中生英語滿分作文大全》、《英語奧林匹克》、《新目標(biāo)英語八年級暑假作業(yè)》,參編《高中英語知識點(diǎn)反饋與閱讀》、《初中英語題典大全》、《21世紀(jì)英語學(xué)習(xí)指南》、《初中英語新作文》、《中學(xué)生英語水平測試》等10余冊,輔導(dǎo)學(xué)生30余人次在國家和省級英語競賽中獲獎(jiǎng)。
An Embarrassing Morning
I had a bad morning. First of all, I was late for school. My head teacher Mr. Li was very angry with me. The second class was math. The teacher asked me to hand out① my homework when I realized that I had forgotten② it in my bedroom. I had to say sorry to my math teacher. After class, Mr. Li asked me to go to his office. When I went into the office, I was nearly knocked down by another teacher whom③ was in a hurry. I was very embarrassed. Mr. Li was angry with me because④ my carelessness. I felt very sorry.
What an embarrassing morning!
安徽省濉溪縣四鋪中心學(xué)校九(2)班 惠琳
1. 優(yōu)點(diǎn):
小作者描寫了自己經(jīng)歷的尷尬的早上,用詞準(zhǔn)確,表達(dá)生動(dòng),語意連貫,而且能熟練運(yùn)用復(fù)雜的句式如定語從句等。
2. 需要修改的地方:
① hand out 改為hand in。hand out意為“分發(fā)”;表示“上交”應(yīng)用hand in。
② forgotten改為left。forget 表示忘記了某事物或忘了要做的事;leave 表示把某物遺忘在某地了。
③whom 改為who。關(guān)系代詞在定語從句中作主語,應(yīng)用who,而不能用whom。
④because改為because of。because表示“因?yàn)椤睍r(shí)只用作連詞,引導(dǎo)原因狀語從句;because of意為“因?yàn)椤?,相?dāng)于一個(gè)介詞,后接名詞、動(dòng)名詞或代詞構(gòu)成表示原因的短語。
3. 評分:
按中考英語作文滿分20分的標(biāo)準(zhǔn),本文修改前可得18分。
出生日期:2001年11月12日
愛好:唱歌
座右銘:自信是成功的第一秘訣。
就讀學(xué)校:江蘇省連云港市羅陽中學(xué)初三(5)班
指導(dǎo)老師:王桂馨
My Favourite Film Star
My favourite film star is Kim Soo Hyun. He is famous all over the world.
Kim Soo Hyun was born on 16 February, 1988. He was born in Seoul, South Korea. In 2007, he started acting. He is tall and handsome. He is an experienced actor and he is good at singing and dancing.
Since his first scene play The Pickled Cheese Smile, Kim Soo Hyun has acted in many successful films and dramas, including Dream High in 2011, Secretly Greatly in 2013, My Love from the Star in 2013. He won several international awards such as the Award for Best New Actor at the Korean Grand Bell Awards in 2013. He also won an Award for Best Actor from the Seoul International Film Festival in 2014.
Kim Soo Hyun is considered by many people as a superstar. I believe his acting skills will be even better in the future.An English Corner
Our class wants to hold an English Corner. I made a survey to see how my classmates think about it. Most of them think it is a good idea, but 30% of them don’t.
Some think the English Corner can make their school life more colorful. They can also learn something new. What’s more, they can practise their oral English there. But others don’t think so. They say they have too much homework to do. They have little time for the English Corner. Some of them are not good at expressing their own ideas in English, so they don’t want to speak English at all.
In my opinion, we should have such an English Corner. If we are not good at speaking English, we should practise more.
出生日期:2000年11月12日
愛好:唱歌
座右銘:自信是成功的第一秘訣。